The Day I Farted on the Tube and Met a Legend

 The Day I Farted on the Tube and Met a Legend

It was a packed carriage on the Central Line, the kind where elbows are weapons and eye contact is forbidden. Then, without warning—I farted. Not a polite whisper of wind, no. This was a full-bodied, unapologetic blast that echoed off the plastic seats like a trumpet of doom.

Within seconds, the carriage emptied. People fled like it was a gas leak. Bags were abandoned. Lives were changed.

But one man remained. He sat there, shoulders shaking with laughter, tears streaming down his face. That man was Errol Brown, lead singer of Hot Chocolate. Yes, the Errol Brown.

He looked at me, still chuckling, and said, “Mate… that was miraculous.”

Now, every time I hear “I Believe in Miracles”—especially the line “You sexy thing”—I don’t think of romance. I think of that fart. That glorious, carriage-clearing fart. And Errol Brown, laughing like it was the best thing he'd ever witnessed.

Matin Hickman©July2025